I want a hot new arse

 

 a fat arse would be awesome - i think i'll get an arse implant...

 

and udders - i wish i had udders

   

 and a big huge tattoo of a bicycle hub - now that's even cooler than a mermaid with massive jugs!

It just wouldn't be the same without some arse now would it? Wear your arse with pride, and remember that every time you replace the word ass on the internet with the word arse, an American somewhere gets confused and forgets to shoot someone. This is how the world changes